Hannah Peterson, 23 years old,
was involved in a serious car accident just one month before her wedding in Ontario
Hannah said that despite her
predicament, the only emotion she allowed herself to feel on the day was joy. Because of her injuries, Hannah sat in a
wheelchair during most of her wedding, but she said: "I was determined to
stand for my vows." "That was
difficult, even with Stuart holding me up.”
Hannah has continued to heal and after two months is able to walk around
the house using a cane. She added:
"Stuart has never left my side during all of this. He was strong for both of us. He always made
me see how blessed I was."
We are thinking about love today
because Tuesday is Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s
Day is named after a real person. He was
a Catholic bishop who lived in Rome
in the 5th century. He was young, handsome,
wealthy and passionately in love with his fiancé. As the wedding day was drawing near the
Roman emperor declared that all Christians were guilty of treason. To escape punishment, they had to worship the
Roman Emperor and declare "Caesar is Lord." As a Christian, Valentine affirmed that
Jesus alone was Lord. He refused to
worship the emperor. He was summarily
arrested, tried, and condemned to death.
While awaiting his execution, Valentine wrote love letters to his
fiancée, assuring her of his never-ending love.
On February 14, 259 A.D. he was martyred for his faith.
What does it mean to love someone? Is that a simple question? We turn to the New Testament where we find
not one, but three different Greek words for love. The first is philos from which is derived
our word Philadelphia . It refers to brotherly love or sisterly love. It symbolizes the love between family members
or the love between friends. It refers
to the love Brigitte and her teachers have for the children of our preschool.
A second Greek word for love in
the New Testament is Eros, from which our word erotic comes. It refers to romantic love, passionate love, sensual
desire. It is a love that is attracted
to someone because of the qualities that person possesses: a free spirit, beauty,
cuteness, lovableness, personality, intelligence. Both of these biblical words for love are
grounded in our feelings for one another.
The third Greek word is agape. Agape love is not grounded in feelings. It is grounded in principle, in faith, in
obedience to God. It is love in action. It is a giving, not a receiving love. It is a unilateral, not a mutual love. It is helping a person you may not like. It is reaching out to someone because of
their need, not because you care for them.
It is giving money to a cause because you believe in the cause, not
because you personally know those who will benefit from your act of charity. “I do not agree with what you have to say,
but I’ll defend to the death, your right to say it.” I think that is a contemporary example of
agape love.
Agape love is about doing the
right thing, the good thing, acting justly out of obedience to Jesus, rather
than acting out of emotions. It is a
decision one makes to honor someone. It
is love motivated by the power and love of God in our lives. Agape love is loving like God loves. By grace through faith, God gives us the
ability to love like God does.
Our passage from I Corinthians 13
uses the third word, agape, when it speaks about love. It reveals love’s qualities and virtues. As you listen, think about how you have
expressed agape love to someone or how someone has expressed agape love to you.
Love is patient! It is grounded in self-awareness, an
awareness of your own imperfections and flaws and foibles. It is rooted in humility. It knows relationships take time. It acknowledges that people are a work in
progress. Patience means we make allowances
for another’s shortcomings because we are acutely aware of our own. We allow time for another person to grow and
learn from their mistakes just as we are growing and learning.
I strive to give thanks every day
because I know Nancy
is more patient with me, than I am of her.
I am still enrolled in Patience 101 and hope to graduate to Patience 102
someday. Patience is a vital dimension
of love. Can I get an amen!
Love is kind! Kindness expresses love in pragmatic ways. Kindness is helping another person simply
because that person is in need. Kindness
means you are willing to share your time and resources without expecting
anything in return. Kindness is a phone
call, listening, a visit, a gift, taking a meal, watching someone’s children, inviting
to church, standing up for someone, helping financially. Ephesians 4:32 says: “Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving
one another, just as God has forgiven you.”
Yes, kindness is a vital dimension of love.
Love is secure! Love is mature. Love does not envy others; it isn’t boastful,
resentful, rude or arrogant. Envy and
jealously reveal insecurity. A loving
relationship does not keep secrets or keep a record of wrongs or hurts against
another. Love forgives and let’s go and
moves on. Love says: “I will stand
by you. I am there for you.” Such
commitment is possible when we are in a secure relationship with God in Christ. We can love because we know God loves us. Being secure is a vital dimension of love.
Love is generous. It doesn’t insist on its own way. Someone said there are four kinds of
relationships. First, take and take
relationships. I take from you and you
take from me; I use you and you use me. Second,
give and take relationships. I give and
you take. Know any relationships like
that? Third, fair exchange relationships
or quid pro quo; you do this for me, I’ll do that for you, you scratch my back
and I’ll scratch yours. Fourth, give and
give relationships, relationships which are agape centered and God-centered, where
both people are willing to share, to sacrifice, to compromise as an expression
of their love for one another.
Agape love is pro-active, it
takes the initiative. It is not afraid
to give first or to forgive first or to apologize first. God was pro-active. Scripture says: “While we were yet sinners
Christ died for us. Jesus gave himself
to us before we even knew him.” Love
is based in truth and honesty. It is not
deceptive. Love values integrity. Loving involves being vulnerable, even
risking one’s life for another. I think
of the exemplary men and women of our military and the stories of heroism which
we often hear. To give one’s life for
another is the ultimate act of agape love.
Love endures forever. It perseveres. It’s tenacious. It honors commitment. It doesn’t quit or run away at the first
sign of trouble. It bears all things, and
believes, and hopes. It grows in wisdom and rises above childish thinking and
expresses itself in mature and responsible ways.
I close with this story. Roger Zerbe suffered from early onset
Alzheimer's disease. His wife, Becky, remembers
a journal entry he left on her pillow after a particularly troubling bout of
forgetfulness. “Honey, today fear is
taking over. The day is coming when all
my memories of this life we share will be gone. In fact, you and the boys will
be gone from me. I will lose you even as I am surrounded by you and your love. I don't want to leave you. I want to grow old
in the warmth of memories. Forgive me for leaving so early and painfully.”
Blinking back tears, I picked up
my pen and wrote: “My sweet husband, what will happen when we get to the
point where you no longer know me? I will continue to go on loving you and
caring for you—not because you know me or remember our life, but because I
remember you. I will remember the man
who proposed to me and told me he loved me, the look on his face when his
children were born, the father he was, the way he loved our extended family. I'll recall his love for riding, hiking, and
reading; his tears at sentimental movies; the unexpected witty remarks; and how
he held my hand while he prayed. I cherish the pleasure, obligation, commitment,
and opportunity to care for you because I remember you.”
To love another is an amazing
privilege and honor. Indeed, it’s a gift
from God. “These three remain, faith,
hope and love, but the greatest of these is love.” Amen!
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