Rev. Tim Keller, pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church, NYC
writes:
“One day I came home late from work.
It was a nice day outside and I noticed that the door to our apartment's
balcony was open. Just as I was taking off my coat, I heard a smashing noise
coming from the balcony. In another
couple of seconds I heard another one. I hurried out on to the balcony and to
my surprise saw my wife sitting on the floor. She had a hammer and next to her
was a stack of our wedding china. On the ground were the shards of two smashed
saucers.
"What are you doing?" I asked. She looked up and said, "You aren't
listening to me. You don't see how serious this is. If you keep working these hours you are going
to destroy this family. Your children
and I need you. This is what you are doing." And she brought the hammer
down on the third saucer.
I sat down trembling. I thought she had snapped. "I'm listening.
I'm listening." She smiled and
said: “Good, now I have your attention and we proceeded to have an honest
conversation that we should have had a long time ago.”
So do most people need to improve their listening
skills? Do you? Talking, verbal communication, is obviously
essential. We use verbal communication
in everyday conversations, in our professions, in education, in crying out for
help.
Talking is a basic form of human interaction. We spend 1/5th of our lives talking. We engage in an average of 30 conversations
per day. We speak some 20,000 to 30,000
words per day. The Urban dictionary
even has a definition of a talking head: “A ‘Talking
Head’ is someone who never stops talking. They will corner you by your car
after a long day’s work to tell you gossip about the neighbors or to ask you
about the details of your day, so they can distort it and spread it throughout
the neighborhood.”
In this light, we turn to our morning story about a unique
event in the life of Jesus’ disciples.
It is the indescribable point in time of Jesus’ transfiguration. Try to visualize this scene. Jesus is on a high mountain with his three
closest disciples, Peter, James and John.
Suddenly, Jesus’ clothes become dazzling white, his face shines like the
sun and His presence is transfigured before them. He undergoes a complete metamorphosis, an
extraordinary phenomenon which none of the disciples had ever witnessed before.
And if that isn't enough, two Jewish superstars, Moses and
Elijah appear. For us it would be like
George Washington and Abraham Lincoln or Katy Perry and Justin Bieber and they
are talking with Jesus. The significance
of these Jewish figures is monumental.
Moses represents the tradition of Jewish law and Elijah represents the
prophetic tradition. Peter was totally
enamored with this moment and says to Jesus: “Lord, it is good for us to be here, if you wish, I will make three
dwellings here, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.”
And while Peter is still speaking, a bright cloud
overshadows them and from the cloud the voice of God speaks. Jesus' presence is transformed, long dead
Jewish heroes mysteriously appear before him and Peter keeps talking and
rattling on about building shelters. He
doesn't stop to take it all in, to appreciate what was happening, to perceive,
to comprehend, to listen, to experience this special spiritual moment. Are we sometimes like Peter? We are so busy talking that we don't stop to
listen, to look around, to be aware of what is happening around us, to learn
from, to be moved by and inspired by what is going on?
And then comes a word from on high: God says,
“This is my Son, whom I love. With him,
I am well pleased. Listen to him.” God was revealing to the disciples Jesus’
true identity. God was saying this is no
ordinary rabbi, this is no ordinary prophet, Jesus is the Son of God, Jesus is
Lord, pay attention, listen to him. The
presence of Moses and Elijah confirmed Jesus’ identity as the fulfillment of
all God was doing and saying in the past in the law and the prophets of Israel .
This mystifying story first conveys to us the critical
importance of listening. Communication
is more than talking. Listening requires
energy, commitment and effort. Comments
like: “I don’t think you heard what I
said “or “That's not what I said”
or “You misunderstood me” or “Excuse me, please let me finish” to
someone who constantly interrupts you, are all too common in everyday
conversations. Attentive listening is a gift to someone your
speaking with. Attentive listening is
giving a person your full and undivided attention.
Listening needs more than politeness, it requires interest
and concentration and curiosity. If you
aren’t interested in the other person or in what this person is saying, you
won’t be an effective listener.
Proverbs says, "He who
answers before listening—that is his folly and his shame” and "Let the wise men listen and add to their
learning.” The book of James says, "Be quick to listen and slow to speak."
A grandmother writes:
“One day my three-year-old
granddaughter, Beverly, was playing with her toys. Her mother, who was folding laundry across
the room, noticed Beverly 's
shirt was dirty and needed to be changed. After calling her name two times with
no response, her mother gave her the full three-name call: "Beverly
Elizabeth Provost, did you hear me?" Beverly
answered, "Yes, Mama. My ears did, but my legs didn't."
Listening can mean the difference between life and
death. In the fall of 2003 Nancy and I
heard from friends and family about a string of wildfires in San Diego .
A police officer was quoted as saying: "We're begging people to leave, and they don't take us seriously. They
want to pack some clothes, or fight it in the backyard with a garden hose. They
don't seem to understand that this is unlike any fire we've seen.” A man frantically warned his neighbors, only
to have some disregard him. He told of
those who tried to save their televisions and computers before escaping. "They looked like they were packing for a
trip. The ones who listened to me and left the area lived. The ones who didn’t
died."
Listening also reveals one’s values. Listening shows respect, it affirms the worth
of people, it builds strong relationships, it accepts feedback and criticism,
it allows one to learn, it shows humility, it generates ideas, and it builds
loyalty.
It’s been said: “Many
people do not listen with an intent to understand, they listen with an intent
to reply.” People express a
political opinion we disagree with and we immediately begin organizing our
arguments for our retort. People share a
problem they are having and we are quick to tell them about a similar or more
serious problem of our own. Listening
requires understanding and empathy and patience.
Studies continually point out a steady decline in
parent-child communication. Parents
complain that their children don't listen to them and children complain that
their parents don't listen. A key reason
in the past 50 years has to do with the amount of time children and parents
spend talking to each other. Technology
in the form of television, cell phones and video games has greatly decreased
the time parents and children engage in meaningful conversation.
The story of the transfiguration further says that God
speaks to us and wants us to listen. “This is my Son, whom I dearly love, listen
to Him.” What is one way to
describe a Christian? A Christian is one
who listens to the Lord.
One reason we don't listen is that we already have our minds
made up. We don't seriously seek God's
will and word. We don't pray to try to
discern God's will before a decision that is facing us. In the movie The Man with Two Brains,
Steve Martin plays a brain surgeon. He
has fallen in love with a conniving temptress.
Standing before the portrait of his late wife, Martin asks for guidance:
”Just show me a sign. Should I marry her
or not?” Suddenly a cold wind begins to
blow, sending an icy chill throughout the room, and a voice wails – Noo, nooo,
don't do it. The wall splits in two and
the portrait spins errily on the wall saying Nooo, while the furnishings in the
room crash around him. Then everything
is still and Martin says: “Well, since
you won't show me a sign, I guess it's okay to marry her.”
Recall the experiences of people in the Bible. Like the apostle Paul who three times
appealed to the Lord about an ailment, a thorn in the flesh and the Lord said:
My grace is sufficient for you.” Paul
listened to the Lord. Or the woman
caught in adultery whom Jesus forgave.
He said to her: “Go and sin no more.”
This woman listened to the Lord.
Think of the prophet Elijah. He
had escaped to the wilderness and was hiding from the Jerusalem authorities in a cave. The lord was not in the wind or the earthquake
or the fire. But the Lord spoke in the
silence. Elijah listened to the
Lord.
I still clearly remember some years ago, when in the middle
of the night, I awoke, half asleep and half awake, my stomach in knots about a
problem I was worried about that was going on in the church. Can you believe that, a minister waking up
anxious about some problem in the church?
And suddenly I heard clearly and distinctly these words: “Be Not
Anxious.” At first, I was stunned. Then I realized something. The anxiety in the pit of my stomach was
gone. I was at peace. God had spoken. And thank God I had listened.
Finally, we are to listen because listening is a way of
obeying Jesus’ Lordship over our lives. Jan, a staffer with Athletes in Action, after
attending a conference on evangelism, was relaxing in the hotel whirlpool. Two
girls joined her in the tub. One of them, named Brittany , began telling her friend about an
upcoming Wiccan gathering she was planning to attend.
Jan says: “Normally I would have tried to argue with the girl about Jesus, but I
decided to listen instead. I said something like: "Wow, you sound excited
about this!" This was all the
encouragement she needed to launch into a five-minute explanation of why she
was so attracted to neo-pagan rituals. The bottom line was that she'd had a
traumatic time in high school and the Wiccas accepted her. She said, "I've
gone through such pain just trying to make it through high school.”
I said: "I’ll bet you would like to be free from all the pain you've
gone through and what came next completely floored me. With tears streaming
down, she said, "Sometimes I wish I could be born all over again. I'd
really like to start over from scratch." After a pause, I asked if she
would really like to be born again and then shared with her the gospel of God’s
love in Jesus.”
Yes, we need to listen to God and to one another because the
Lord speaks to us and through us. Jesus
was transfigured. Hallelujah. Amen!
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