Former Chicago Cubs relief pitcher Bob Patterson described
his pitch to Cincinnati Reds' Barry Larkin, who hit it for a game-winning home
run, in this way: "It was a cross
between a screwball and a change-up. It was a screw-up."
Celebrity chef and former Food Network television star Paula
Deen is now the tarnished chef. She was
fired from the Food Network for admitting to using racial slurs years ago. In the eyes of some Americans, Paula Deen's
use of racial slurs is unforgivable. But
in the eyes of an African-American group known as Black People for Paula, the
lady should be forgiven.
The members have even organized a rally set for next
month outside the "Good Morning America" studio in New York in hopes of making it on air. According to a screed on the coalition's
website, "The Black community has
forgiven Paula, it's time for us all to open our hearts and give this good woman
a second chance." What do you
think?
Yes, there are moments, there are days, there are times,
when we are not at our best. Do you know
what I’m talking about? Times when our best is not enough, times of
personal failure, of not fulfilling our honest intentions or meeting our
expectations, of disappointing ourselves or others, of regrets, of mistakes
that hurt others, of shame and embarrassment, of guilt over something we did or
forgot to do, of feelings of hopelessness and helplessness when we can’t seem
to get control over a bad attitude or bad behavior.
Yes, we all mess up at times. Theologically, it is an expression of human
sinfulness. And sometimes we carry the
heavy burden of guilt or regret or shame like an albatross around our
neck. Often forgiving yourself is more
difficult, than forgiving others. Why is
that?
Have you ever thought
- what was I thinking? “If only I could
turn back the clock; if only I had asked for help; if only I had not spent so
much money; if only I had thought it through; if only I had been there for my
friend; if only I had told the truth; if only I hadn’t been so desperate; if
only I had communicated better with my children; if only I had been there for
my family or worked harder at my marriage.” Millions of Americans participate in support
and recovery groups to deal with just such issues.
We live in a culture which worships success and shuns
failure. Americans are generally
forgiving if you tell the truth and come clean and don’t lie or try to cover up
the truth. We hear the word redemption; the
chance to make amends, to make something right frequently through the media
today. Whether it’s relating to people
in sports or politics or acting or music, we hear: “Now he or she has a chance for redemption.”
We strive to hide or deny our failures and regrets. Memories of personal failures are some of the
hardest things to deal with in life. If
we allow them too, they can consume our thoughts, attitudes, and emotions. Dwelling on them can invade our nights with
sleeplessness and adversely affect our health. At some time in our lives we all need a second
chance.
Which takes us to our story from the Gospel of Luke. We have nicknamed him the Prodigal Son, but
Jesus in telling this parable, never called him that. Jesus just referred to him as the Younger Son. So who gets in trouble most I wonder, the
first born or the second born? As a first
born son I of course know the answer to that question.
This young man takes an advance on his inheritance, says –
“See Ya,” and sets out to travel the world.
He traveled to a distant country.
That was his downfall. He
traveled away from his family’s supervision and traditions and follows his own
desires and impulses. His goals were wild
living or loose living the scripture tells us.
Now, alone, broke and hungry, he comes to his senses and
hires himself out to work with pigs; that is pretty low for a Jew. He knew he had brought shame upon the family
name. He believed that his place and
future in the family was over. That’s
when he repents: “I will go to my father and say:
Father I have sinned against heaven and you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son,
treat me like one of your hired hands.” Yes, in one form or another, we have all
traveled to a distant country.
What lessons can we discern from this story? First, remember that everyone fails! You do, I do. You are not perfect and neither am I. You and I are human beings; to err is human. One of the things that unites human beings is
failure. Nothing links us like our shortcomings
and foibles and imperfections, no matter who we are.
One of the persons I have always admired is evangelist Rev.
Billy Graham. But even Billy, whose has
preached the gospel to more people than anyone in history, knew what it meant
to fail. The story is that in 1950 he
arranged an audience with President Harry Truman. President Truman gave him 20 minutes. Billy showed up at the White House on July 14
wearing a pistachio-green suit, red socks, a hand-painted tie and white–buck
shoes. Graham met with Truman in the
Oval Office. As his time came to an end,
he asked the President if he could pray.
Truman said Yes, and Billy Graham prayed for an additional five minutes.
As Graham left the Oval Office, reporters asked him all the
details of the meeting and Graham told them everything - everything he said and
everything Truman said. Then Billy and
his evangelistic team re-enacted the Oval office prayer on the White House
lawn, while photographers snapped pictures.
President Truman was annoyed, to say the least. He was annoyed at Graham’s attire; he was
annoyed at Graham’s questions. He was
annoyed that Graham overstayed his allotted time; he was annoyed that Graham
had quoted the president without White House authorization. He was annoyed that this evangelist had tried
to use the entire event for publicity.
And Truman made it known that Rev. Graham would never be invited
back. Billy Graham soon realized that he
had made a big mistake. He later
referred to the incident as the “Truman Fiasco.” Graham realized he had the opportunity to
influence spiritually, the most powerful man in the world, but instead of
influencing him he had alienated him. He
had great opportunity and failed miserably.
Second, the story reminds us that failure is not final. It is not fatal. God gave Billy a second chance. Graham was able to rebuild trust with future
political leaders and ultimately became a respected and sought after spiritual
advisor to several future presidents.
It takes courage to admit your failings and humility to ask God to
forgive you. The Bible says: For all have sinned and fall short of the
glory of God.
In the Bible, King David failed when he committed adultery
with Bathsheba. Paul before he became a
missionary to the Gentiles was Saul, who persecuted the followers of Jesus
known as “The Way.” The prophet Jonah failed when he ran away when God called
him to go and preach repentance to the people of Nineveh .
These men also became some of the greatest leaders in Israel
and the Church. Like the Younger Son, they had regrets, they
had to deal with guilt, they knew what it felt like to let themselves down, to
let others down and to let God down. But you can also see from the success they
had in life, that their failure did not get the best of them. Neither did it thwart the purposes and plans God
had for their lives. That is something
to always remember. Your failures won’t stop God’s plans and
purposes for you. Whatever your problem
may be today, it’s not as hopeless as it appears. Maybe you believe your life can never be put
back on track because of something you did in the past, but that’s not what God
believes about you.
We must never allow other people to define us by our
decisions or circumstances. Former first
lady Barbara Bush's press secretary, Anna Perez said there was a time when she
dreamed not of having a White House office, but simply of having a roof over
her head. When Perez was in the fifth
grade she came home from school one day and found her mother, two brothers and
two sisters sitting on the street. They
had been evicted. She writes: "Mom had to split up the family." "I lived with my fifth-grade teacher for
a while. But no matter how bad things got, I remember what my mother kept
telling us: We are not defined by our
circumstances. We are defined by our
ability to overcome our circumstances.”
Yes, we can change.
The sun’s temperature can’t be changed.
The pull of the moon on the oceans can’t be changed. But we can change and be changed. Your tomorrows do not have to be carbon
copies of your yesterdays. We are not stuck being the way we are today
forever. What do you want to change in
your life?
Third, remember, God forgives, forgets and restores. God gives us second chances. No one word describes the character and personality
of God like the word Grace. Grace
reveals God’s heart at its core. Even though the Younger Son rejected God, as
represented by the father, God didn’t reject him. The
God we worship is merciful and forgiving.
Grace means failure is written in pencil. Grace means we can be forgiven. Grace means we can start again. Grace
means that we can learn and change and grow from failures, regrets, and
personal disappointments. Yes, failure
is neither final nor fatal. We can
choose to dwell on them, to wallow in them or choose, trusting in God’s help
and the help of others, to overcome them.
Recall these promises of the Bible: “Return, faithless Israel
The heart of God is pictured in the father in our parable who
saw his wayward son far in the distance, and filled with compassion, ran and
put his arms around him and kissed him and threw a party for him with the words
–“For my son was dead and is alive again,
he was lost and is found.”
A final lesson of this story is that we need to learn to
forgive ourselves. Forgiving yourself
is essential. We have a tendency to hold
ourselves more accountable than we do others, to hold ourselves to a higher
standard than we hold others. Dwelling
on regrets robs you of the energy you need to become the person God wants you
to be and to be the person others want you to be. There is a difference between
forgiving what you did and forgetting what you did. Forgiving is learning to honestly accept what
you did, in spite of remembering it.
Like the younger son, repent before God and ask God to help
you make needed changes in your life. Ask for forgiveness from others that you hurt
intentionally or unintentionally, strive to make amends. Ask for God’s power and grace to help you find
the capacity to forgive yourself. Ask
God to help you believe in yourself again, to restore your sense of value,
worth and confidence. Give yourself
time, forgiveness takes time, it doesn’t happen instantaneously. For until you are able to forgive yourself,
you will never know, you will never experience the peace of God.
We cannot turn back the clock and undo those moments we deeply
regret, but we can stand fast in our resolve to open our hearts to the Lord. And by doing this, you will discover God’s
forgiving power to help you let go of the past and experience spiritual renewal
for today.
As someone said: “Failure is written in pencil, God’s grace
is written in permanent ink. God can
erase your failures and take them and make them into something good.” God is ready to forgive and to help you get a
fresh start. What will you do with this
opportunity?
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