Nothing But Love (I John 4:13-16) by Rev. Dr. Steve Locke

Most people want to be loved and want to give love back. But history is filled with the stories of tragic stories of those that tried to give their love but, within the process of giving, they failed in reaching their desired purpose. They instead were mocked or dismissed. Upon this knowledge they feel lost and unwanted. We miss giving the very thing that is worth giving away. But why do we miss this opportunity when we know that it is what we want to do? When we know that giving this one precious gift will add to our life and to those we give it? The useful and truthful answer is that our understanding of our self and our flirtation with our image is the ultimate obstacle, as well as the indifference of others. Some may say that it is our upbringing, our tragic experiences or even our biology. But this observation seeks to dismiss those that do not show love because we were not given the capacity by nurture or biology. I don’t want to diminish those that struggle with illness and damaged psyches, but encourage all of us that with God all things are possible.  If this is the case, then we can’t be fatalists who tragically call God into question for making us with these flaws and the misguidedness of giving. Love is a free act that must be measured by the sacrifice we offer it and the hope it produces.

Paul, the Apostle, says, “Love does not seek its own.” To say it another way, “Love’s obstacle is an obsession that is hindered by the self—our false self---that tries to engage the faces of culture instead of the face of God.” When we are working on how we look before others through the template of cultural protocols we miss the genuine presence and life of the other. Instead we are thinking about how we look before others. When this is our major concern all our relationships are tainted with concern for our own image. We are called to get over this practice of obsessing on our false self for the practice of finding the true self in others and in ourselves. When we can’t get over ourselves we are unable to see the real person in front of us. We need a new spiritual focus to overcome this constant habit.

Jesus and Paul’s teachings on love understand that love is an inward movement before it is an outward display. Both point to the need for an inward change in our self perception before we can properly move to a relationship of mutuality and trust. In order to do this our first relationship of change must be with God. Before we can truly extend the love of God and our love to others we must first be educated by the only true teacher---God. Our relationship with God educates us toward recognizing and embracing the uniqueness of others. When we begin to see the other’s distinctiveness and not judge it, we are moving from our false self into a truer perception of the world.

We see Jesus take his listeners through this education process in two important stories. First, there is the story of the Tax Collector and the Pharisee. These two men, that don’t see one another but instead have their own inward concerns, go up to the Temple to live out their religious duty. Neither one has a spiritual concern for the other, but both have their own interests in what is happening.  The Pharisee has his religious concern and pride about who he is in relation to others. He does not see others for their distinctiveness but sees them only in comparison to himself. He cannot love the Tax Collector because he really cannot see him. His time with God has not proven to be a valuable experience. He has not become a person who can love others. The Tax Collector cannot see the Pharisee either because he is concerned about finding God in his inward self. His relationship with the world cannot be established yet because he needs to engage God and be educated.

Both these men have turned inward. But the Pharisee did so to elevate himself over others. He operates from his false self that he has received from his culture’s promise of admiration. The Tax Collector has moved inward in order to shed the falseness and destructiveness of his life. He knows that it can only be done through a relationship with God. His repentance is his desire to be educated by the one true teacher. Therefore, he is in a position to actually love once his education is complete.

The other story is the Prodigal Son. The Father sees the son as someone worth loving. In order to do this he must put out of his mind all the other voices from the community and his family. He doesn’t allow any of them to be obstacles to loving his son. His inward journey has resulted in accepting what is true about God and what is true about his son. From this experience the son has a chance to change his perception of himself and others.

The process of being able to love is what John was trying to convey to his church in his letter I John 4:13-16. He says, “My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other. No one has seen God, ever. But if we love one another, God dwells deeply within us, and his love becomes complete in us—perfect love!”

Dying to Self: Its Purpose and Meaning (Mark 8:34-36) by Rev. Dr. Steve Locke

I’m always amazed that Jesus pressures his audience and his disciples to accept some new level of direction for living. He never lets you rest in some banal or cozy concept of life, he pushes forward to a greater capacity to see life in some exciting way, in God’s way. For instance, life is not just finding happiness; it is finding a way through the hang-ups and spiritually oppressive dimensions of life to find freedom. He is never complicated, but always simple. He doesn’t make you jump through mental puzzles but presents this new life simply. He says, “Deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me.” It is up to us to figure out what he means by “self” and “deny” however. All we have to do is reflect on what it is we desire instead of God. Once we can imagine it and come to grips with it then we are in a position to contemplate our real selves. We can reach beyond our immediate concerns that trip us up. We can let go of the dreams that link us to dissatisfaction and failure, not to God.

To deny ourselves is not to hate ourselves but to love ourselves in God and our purpose. We are not to think that we need to get rid of all our worldly possessions and live without pleasure.  We are to think about what it means to be a true self in the world. This can only be understood through the life of contemplation. We will miss Jesus’ call if we stay too long listening to the enticements that turn us to the satisfactions of life and not the hope of life. Contemplation breaks the dark spell of the spin of affirmation and admiration we seek in order to make us happy.

So much pain and suffering goes down the road of acquiring and seeking admiration. We are constantly disappointed in that adventure. I can’t help but think of the movie Citizen Kane in light of Jesus’ call to follow him. Here was a man with everything given to him. Somewhere in his life he wanted to do the right thing, he wanted to help humanity. But his inward life was so damaged by his childhood that he could not find a way for the emptiness of his to be filled by something other than power. His whole life was driven by this desire to be admired but it could never fill him up. He was constantly dissatisfied. At the end of his life all he wanted, amidst all his money and fame, was his childhood. The mysterious last words of his life reveal what he really wanted, but couldn’t get out of his way to get---his childhood. Of course his last words were---Rosebud. This was the name of his small sleigh that he used to ride in his happy moments of childhood. He couldn’t get off the road to fame; collecting things or his desire for admiration long enough to reflect on what it is that is important. We all have a bit of Citizen Kane in us, which is why Jesus says so clearly, “Take up your cross, deny yourself and follow me.” 

It would be a mistake to think that only a few people can achieve what Jesus requests. That it is only for the courageous and well disciplined that enter monasteries without the distractions of modern life. We would do a disservice to the hope of Jesus if we do. Jesus believed that anyone can turn their life around, deny themselves so they can follow Jesus with clarity and integrity. We can’t let ourselves off the hook by saying that Jesus only meant this for a few. He meant it for the economically challenged and the ones who have all they need. He meant it for the emotionally damaged and those who have more stable emotional life. There is no excuse for not pursuing his admonition to “Take up our cross, deny ourselves and follow him.”  Saint Francis was not an extraordinary man in this regard; he was instead a humble man who followed the vision of Christ simply and beautifully. His story can become ours as well. 

To deny ourselves can be understood as we look at the way Jesus lived his life. He lived his life according to the purpose he was called. In order to achieve his purpose he had to think outside the box of what it means to live in his beloved community and under the direction of God. To achieve his purpose he needed put aside the need to fulfill all the desires inside him. He needed to put aside seeking admiration of his fellow community, build his wealth and to think of his self before others. To do this he needed to discoverer his true self and his real purpose in life. Then he directed his life toward that purpose. This is our task as well. To deny ourselves is not to limit our pleasure, but to increase our pleasure in God.

Solitude: Gateway to Freedom (Psalm 46:10) by Rev. Dr. Steve Locke

We often think of solitude as a monk in a tiny room performing his prayers or a person who decides to run away from the world living in the desert or the mountains. In other words, someone who lives away from the world, away from people. It means finding your way in the world alone; deciding what to do and living without others. But this is just the geography of what we think solitude is. Solitude is not about geography or about absence of contact; it is rather a spiritual reality that has nothing to do with being alone. We often set solitude up this way so that we don’t have to face the reality of what it is: which is being alone with ourselves and God. It means facing our inner selves, our regrets, our weaknesses and our true self. That is why when many of us who decide to just be with ourselves for the day or to just spend a few minutes reflecting on meaningful things find something else to do. Soon as we sit down or walk down the street our minds create possibilities of action that we must race back to. Before you know it we are back in the same habitual actions that are not guided by any meaningful direction.

Solitude is not loneliness, either. Loneliness is a world of sorrow. But solitude is a world of enlargement and joy. Solitude is a way of retracing steps with God and finding a way to take future steps with God. Psalms 46 is an expression of the purpose of solitude. The Psalmist begins his journey of solitude stating his experience of God’s protective nature. And then at the end he says “stand back and be still and know that God is God.” What he is requesting of the worshipper is to remove himself from the everyday activities, be still and think about God’s protective nature. Think about God’s love, mercy, grace and parental qualities and then engage God accordingly. We cannot address God accordingly except through what we learn in silence and solitude after bringing into these moments scripture and our reflection.

Think about how you chose your friends and how you stay friends. It is usually after spending hours and hours together doing things together and an equal amount of time being alone with your friend and exploring for intimate thoughts. The strengthening of the relationship is done within these intimate moments. The strengthening of the relationship comes as a result of love and builds itself so it can even withstand the hurt and pain of the other. Friendships that can be easily destroyed by a few words, even though words are powerful, it is a weak relationship. However, friendships that withstand the storm of disagreement are based on love. Solitude, and the desire for solitude, is a desire for love. For it is only in those moments that relationships can be strengthened.

We seek solitude because we seek the other, God. It is the beginning of the journey to be open, receptive and letting go. We can’t do this unless have a sense of trust and goodness in the other. The story of the Canaanite woman who had a sick child illustrates the desire to know the other. Jesus came into a region of the country that made his disciples uncomfortable. These were people they considered not worthy of their company. Jesus began teaching and soon a woman came screaming out of the crowd. She wanted Jesus to heal her child. She knelt before him, screamed at him and finally went up to him face to face. She pleaded with him to come to her sick daughter. Jesus said abruptly, “It is not fair to take the children’s bread and give it to the dogs.” This is what many Jews called the Canaanites. Instead of getting up in anger she agreed with Jesus, but added, “Even the dogs get the crumbs.” Of course she did this because if there was a chance of her daughter being healed she wanted to take it. But there is another side to this. She engaged Jesus because somehow she knew him. She knew that he was more compassionate than that statement. Jesus told her to go home because her daughter was healed. Then he said, “I haven’t seen such faith in all Israel.”

She found more than her initial desire. Stepping into solitude is like stepping into the unknown. We, more than not, get more than what we are seeking  in silence. What we find in these moments is more ease in being open, we learn to be more receptive, which then gives us the strength to let go of our false self. This woman found more than she wanted. She found a friend and a new image of God who loves, is gracious and kind. She found more reasons to seek solitude to find the God of Jesus. But if she returns to her old habits of prejudice and bitterness she will soon lose what she found in that moment.

God is reaching out to us everyday saying, “Be still and know that I am your friend. Be still and let me help you. Be still and get to know me.” To do this we must seek solitude.