The mother of a Christian family
wrote to her son who was in his first year of college. She asked how he was doing and reminded him
to study hard and that he was in her prayers.
He wrote back: “Hi Mom, I like college. I’m making new friends, but I
can’t believe how much you have to study.
I have been extremely busy with reading assignments and term papers and
lab work, and I’m having a terrible time in one class.” And then in a creative paraphrase of II
Timothy 4:7 the son concluded: “I have fought the good fight, I have kept
the faith, but I doubt if I'll pass chemistry. Your favorite son, John.”
Is it rare to have doubts? No, it’s
something we must grapple with and live with every day. It confronts us in all realms of life. What do you have doubts about? Is there one thing in particular that you
have doubts about or many things? How do
you deal with your doubts?
For there is no shortage of
things to have doubts about. Like our
safety as a nation in the light of terrorist attacks, doubts about the economy,
about our elected leaders in government, is government really looking out for
the welfare of the people? We have
doubts about job security and about decisions looming before us. We have doubts at times in our marriage, or
about a friendship, or about how we’re raising in our children. We have doubts about our health. Yes, doubt is no stranger.
Is doubt all bad? No. People
have had self-doubts about whether they could achieve something or knew that
others had doubts about them were spurred on to prove to themselves or others
that they could be successful. Doubt has
been a positive motivator for many to reach higher, to excel, to persevere, and
to succeed, whether in sports, in entrepreneurial endeavors, in careers, in
inventing, in business, in education, in attaining goals. Doubts can propel us to take risks and
accomplish things we never dreamed possible.
I also believe a little skepticism is healthy. Being gullible, naïve, overly trusting can
sometimes as we know get us into trouble.
But the answer also depends on
the nature of our doubts. Doubts about
what color to paint the kitchen is one thing; struggling with serious self-doubt
about our abilities, our judgment or our self-worth is another thing entirely. Not believing in yourself, losing faith and
confidence in yourself, is something else indeed. Struggling with deep doubts about being a
parent, about being a spouse, about whether your marriage can be saved, about
your competence at work or in school, can lead to pessimism, anxiety, and
ultimately depression. I don’t think
it’s healthy to ignore your doubts. We
need to pay attention to them and examine them and deal with them. Denial is rarely ever the right path.
What about doubts when it comes
to our faith in God? Scripture clearly
shows that you should not berate yourself or feel guilty, or think you are
spiritually weak when you ask hard questions or feel disappointed in God or
angry at God or struggle at times with your faith. Such times demonstrate an intellectually
honest faith. Just read the psalms in
the Old Testament for examples of an intellectually honest faith. Like psalm 43: “Vindicate me O God, defend
my cause against ungodly people; you are the God in whom I take refuge, why
have you cast me off? Why must I walk
about mournfully because of the oppression of the enemy?” In other words, God where are you, why is
this happening?
In II Corinthians we read: “For
we walk by faith, not by sight.” The
apostle Paul writes: “Now, we see in a mirror dimly, but then we shall see
face to face.” Anyone here ever feel
like you are seeing dimly, when you’re trying to understand what God’s plan or
purpose is for your life? I have. Christian faith is a living, breathing, organic
relationship with God through Christ. Faith
is about trust and obedience. And like
any relationship, there is an element of the unknown, of mystery, of surprises,
of questions, of disappointments, of unmet expectations.
Our faith ought to steady us, and
often it does, but sometimes it does not.
Faith should instill confidence and peace, and often it does, but
sometimes it does not. Faith comes easy
when the sun is shining and the sky is blue, but then the storms of life assail
us. When is your faith strong and joy
filled? When is your faith shaken?
I believe there is some of the
disciple Thomas in each of us, myself included.
Thomas was a charter member of that 12 Step Program – “Doubter’s
Anonymous.” But just a minute, aren’t we
all? Thomas knows his own mind. He saw Jesus buried. He refuses to go along with the crowd. The
problem was that Thomas had missed the celebration. I hate when that happens. He missed seeing Jesus’ spectacular
appearance. The other disciples tell
him about seeing the Risen Lord, but he isn’t buying it. Jesus once again appears to the disciples and
this time Thomas is there. Jesus says: “Have
you believed because you have seen me?”
Thomas, I’m glad that now you believe I am alive. Touch my hands and my side. Jesus clearly loves Thomas.
But then the risen Lord says
something no one sees coming: “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet
have come to believe.” Jesus is
saying there are blessings when we receive a revelation from God like Thomas
and believe. But Jesus says, you are
also blessed by God when you have not seen and yet believe.
Doubt is a part of faith because
our human understanding is limited. Faith
in God is rooted in belief, assurance, surrender, humility, respect, gratitude
and knowledge. But it’s not rooted in
sight. It requires trust and obedience. Faith and prayer confesses that we cannot
control God to answer our prayers, and aren’t there times when you wish you
could? Scripture says: “Fight the good fight of the faith.” Faith is worth the fight. I think this is another way of saying doubt
is real and it must be struggled with from time to time.
Doubts remind us of the
vicissitudes of life. Sometimes a day
is filled with amazing blessings and surprises and beauty and joy and wonder
and humor. I remember our indomitable
church member Jack Farris, who if you asked him how he was feeling, would
answer: “If I felt any better I’d have to go see a doctor.” And then tomorrow comes and we are hit hard
with all kinds of problems. We find
ourselves questioning, “Why Lord, why?”
Does God abandon us in times of
doubt? No. Author Robert Louis Stevenson was a sickly
child who was burdened by ill health for most of his life. He died at the age of 44. From skeptical beginnings, his spiritual
journey eventually led him to become a man of radiant faith. He started by debunking the Christian faith
as the “deadliest gag and wet-blanket that can be laid on man.” He referred to himself as a youthful atheist. As he grew older, he began to have what he
referred to as “his first wild doubts about doubt.” Later, he commented: “Tis a strange world,
but there is a manifest God for those who care to look for him?” Near the close of his life, he wrote: “Faith
is a good word to end on.” Yes, sometimes
doubt eventually leads us to faith.
I like what Dr. Lewis Thomas
writes: “Much of God’s light shines in darkness. There is enough darkness in each of our lives
to cause us to wonder what, in God’s name, is going on. Yet we would have to affirm that there is
enough light in our lives to enable us to trust even when we cannot grasp what
a particular event means.”
I believe that in times of doubt
God brings the right people into our lives.
God gives us the gift of the church, like the disciples, who were there
for Thomas. Our faith is strengthened
through the faith and presence of other believers. It has happened to me personally. I have also seen this over the years in the
church, when people in difficult times tell me how their faith is inspired and
encouraged by the prayers, visits, calls, cards, love and support of fellow
believers. The Holy Spirit links your
sprit with the spirit of other believers in such times.
Like the story of Hans, a
professor at a seminary who was devastated by the death of his wife, Enid . Hans was so overcome with sorrow that he lost
his appetite, and became depressed and didn't want to leave the house. Out of
concern, the seminary president, along with three other professors, paid Hans a
visit. The grieving professor confessed that he was struggling with doubt.
"I am no longer able to pray to God," he admitted to his
colleagues. "In fact, I am not certain I believe in God anymore." After a moment of silence, the seminary
president said, "Then we will believe for you. We will pray for you." The four men continued to meet daily for
prayer, asking God to restore the gift of faith to their friend. Some months later, as the four friends
gathered for prayer with Hans, Hans smiled and said, "It is no longer
necessary for you to pray for me. Today I would like you to pray with me."
Our Easter faith proclaims that
God raised Jesus from death to life. Easter
means that new life, new beginnings, new surprises are not only possible but a
reality. Fate does not control our
destiny; God is ultimately in charge of life.
God is the ruler. Jesus is Lord. Jesus is with us through His Spirit. Yes, sometimes we say – “I doubt it.” But there are also times when we say – “Lord,
I praise you.” “I believe in you.”
“Thank you Lord.” And God’s people said: Amen!
